Ellie Bruggeman
Honors English 11
Mr. Blair
15 September 2018
Existing
Sun up. Sun down. Sun up. Sun down. And that's how my days would go. But that's very vague isn't it, but that's how it is. Mundane and slow and dreary. Even when the birds would sing me their song, I wasn't alive.
I always thought I had a problem with my mind but it wasn't
until the winter of 1963 on my eighteenth birthday when my mother told me the
story. And now I relay the story to you, hoping to find someone who
can fathom what I have went through.
It was the day before my
fifth birthday and naturally I was giddy about all the presents I would be
receiving the next day. I'd always been quite a particular child and on the eve
of my birthday, I would always go through the toys I owned and put them in the
order in which I liked them the best. I always did under the lamp in the
kitchen because it was the brightest, allowing me to inspect every flaw of my
items. This year was a bit different, however. As I lugged all my toys into the
kitchen, I remembered that we replaced the lamp with a much duller one, which
is not very good for inspecting. Naturally, I decided to drag my usual lamp
into the kitchen, however that required me to unplug the replacement lamp. I
pulled and pulled and pulled...nothing. Teeth. That’s what came to my mind. So
I opened wide and bit down on that wire as hard as I could.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
That’s what you hear when you die. And all you see in white, at
first. Then you see yourself. But it's nothing like looking in a mirror. You
see the back of your head and the top of your hair and your whole body really.
It’s like looking at another person but being fully aware that it is yourself.
And I had to watch myself bite that wire and die.
I think I've watched that scene over 100 times. Replaying what I
could've done differently and how my life wouldn't be so over now.
Every birthday my mother comes to visit me now and ever since my
eighteenth birthday she repeats the story. I live in the ground
under the tree in the backyard. But I watch myself from above. Looking
down on my life. I am not alive but I am not dead. I am just existing and just
existing is the worst thing to ever happen to me. Existing is worse than dying.
5 comments:
i think the moral is to think before you act because of the paragraph where it talks about what she could've done differently
from ~anonymous~
Very interesting story.
wow this is really cool im ~moved~
This is really well written Ellie! I really really liked it. I wasn't sure of the message but what I got was along the lines of "think before you act" and "don't take even a moment for granted." I wasn't expecting the character to die so that was actually a really cool plot twist. Anyway, this is really really good! The last couple of sentences are really really well phrased. Very thought/feeling provoking. Good job E!! :)
Omg I'm shook! I think the purpose was the create a sense of creepiness, it was almost like I was reading a sort of scary story since the writer is a dead person. But also sad since it was only a child that died. Gave me chilllllls.
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